Neighborhood Watch. I’ve mentioned her before. She’s my neighbor and friend and I love her. But she’s just a little quirky. Her house sits at the end of my street, facing the traffic coming up the road, giving her a clear view of the whole street. Some would put up blinds in a house with this view. Not Neighborhood Watch. No, instead she uses this eagle-eye perch to her advantage and stays busy with everyone’s business. I’ll illustrate.
This June, a group of us were standing around in the road talking when a neighbor of ours ran by. We knew she was training for a marathon, and so as she passed, we wondered aloud how long she had been out running that day. “An hour. I saw her leave an hour ago,” said Neighborhood Watch. Then another neighbor drove past. She hailed him and ran over (with baby on hip) to his Suburban to tell him some important piece of news. During that conversation, the mailman drove his truck down the road. She hollered to him, (calling him by name, of course) to tell him that a certain family wasn’t home, so not to deliver their mail. All of this occurred within 15 minutes.
What a busy life she leads! She calls to alert me of any police or ambulance activity on our street and to warn me of approaching salesmen. On the rare occasion that something obstructs her view, she calls me to get the scoop on the action happening at my end of the road. She watches children walking up and down the sidewalk and calls to let me know when mine are coming home.
One night last summer around 10:00 pm she called and asked me to turn my porch light back on. I was already in bed, so I asked why. She told me it was because our streetlight had burned out and the street was just too dark—she couldn’t see what was going on and it was driving her crazy. Driving HER crazy? Grudgingly, I indulged her. The next day she called the city and somehow managed to get the thing fixed within a few weeks, despite the fact that those city workers were backed up for months with lamppost fixing requests.
A few weeks ago she called me to let me know she was going camping for a week. She was entrusting me with the charge of neighborhood watch. Me? What a burden. I didn’t know if I was up to the task, but I told her I would do my best. The first day I did all right and checked the street a few times. Nothing much seemed to be happening. Then suddenly I realized it was four days later and I had no inkling the whereabouts or activities of any of my neighbors. I had no idea if anyone had had any disputes in their front yards, if any of the teenagers had any questionable guests at their houses, or if anyone had forgotten to pull in their garbage cans. Had George been on his bike ride? I couldn’t tell you. Had the mailman been sick or had a birthday? No clue. I had failed in my calling. What would I tell her when she got back? I would have nothing to report.
Fortunately when she got back she didn’t come ask for a report. She must have had her plate full getting back into the regular watch routine. I didn’t mention the fact that I had been negligent in my duty. All I know is that I’m grateful I don’t have the burden of neighborhood watch. I’m definitely not that busy a body!
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16 comments:
I just found the note Neighborhood Watch had you stash in my car beforer I left. If you want any leverage with her, let me know. Word on the street is that she really digs my sultry voice.
I have neighborhood watch next door to me too. But she's the great kind. She fills us in on all the latest, and also all the info on everyone's house history (all the problems, all the remodels) and about every person who's lived in any of the houses in the last 20 years. I swear she could write a book about the neighborhood!! She even got me worked up enough that I wrote a nasty letter to the actual "Neighborhood watch" about my other neighbor's house and property (naaaaaasty.) Watch for my upcoming blog (Like a bad neighbor, Wendy is there. . )
I am so NOT the Neighborhood Watch. Most days, when Phil comes home, he opens up all the blinds in the house while wondering--out loud--how I can stand to be in the dark all day long. Honestly, I love it. The house stays cooler and it feeds those hermit tendencies that I have. Perhaps I'm just a very private sort of person. I'm sure I'd drive Neighborhood Watch crazy if I lived over on your street. Love her dearly, good friend of mine that she is, but I know she'd drive Phil bonkers. Good thing Guy is such a good sport. :-)
Oh Wendy, don't misinterpret me. My Neighborhood Watch is the great kind. She knows my nickname for her and she is the first to admit to her busybody tendencies. Give her 17 more years and she'll be right up to par with yours.
llama, I just don't get it. I didn't think your voice is that great, but she does! I mean, it is deep, but more in a creepy, pervy sort of way. Maybe she's into that.
Julie, now I know where you get that pasty complexion. Open your blinds now and then and you won't burn next time you hike the Y.
Love it Lorien...you nailed it! Love her too...but I'm a little relieved I live a couple of blocks over. And we don't even have a street light!
(Although I do have to deal with occasional drive-bys from the clutter police, who can't resist little well-intentioned digs like "Maybe So-and-So would be a little friendlier to you if your kids didn't leave their bikes on the lawn.")
Sounds like a lot is going on in the neighborhood. And if you ever need to know when my dad (George) goes on a bike ride, just look to see if there are any guests at the house and you'll know that he's either just leaving or just coming back from a bike ride. This way he is the most embarrasing to the whole family.
compulsive, you really should consider moving over a few blocks. You know the house across the street is for sale. You could leave your bikes in my yard anytime (no subtle digs from me, I'd yell at your kids myself!) :). And you'd have the benefit of the Watch.
Good to see you here, beks. Embarrasing? But a recumbant bike is such a novelty. I'm sure all your guests are very impressed. I don't know if I can think of a better time to sport the spandex!
compulsive writer--the clutter police?? Who would say such a thing? I'll take the Watch anyday over rude comments about my kids' bikes.
Oh...I could tell you stories, but the clutter police person is one of my dear friends and she does not mean to insult. She would be mortally wounded to know her comments come accross as even remotely critical.
It's just that whatever she says (or does--she has been known to pick up stray trash and newspapers on my drive as she walks up to my door and hand them to me uncerimoniously as if she has done me a great favor--which she probably has) is so loaded with subconsious criticism. You know it's a lot like when your friend who also has other priorities than house cleaning comes into your home and notices you've cleaned up a bit it feels supportive when she says, "It looks great!" But when your mom comes in and says "It looks great!" you know she's really saying "Wow! I don't know how you could have let it go for so long. I was almost ready to call DCFS. My poor grandchildren! If only you could keep it clean for longer than 24 hours this time..."
Oh, how I love those loaded compliments.
I know a clutter cop, too. Different than yours, probably. You think you're a compulsive writer? She's a compulsive cleaner. She just likes things to look pretty. I'm pretty shabby by her standards, but hey, I'm happy. She SAYS she understands that everyone has different priorities, but deep down, she just wants a spic-n-span, clutter-free world. I do, too. I just don't want to be the one cleaning it.
Oooh! So creepy! Did she die in the house? Be sure to include that one in her baby book! (I talk like baby books are things all moms do...oops! not me.)
We had Arvilla who had lived in our first house (built around 1905). She would leave cupboards open all the time.
This story about our house's previous owner never really bothered me, but for some reason reading it in print gives me the heebie jeebies. Now I have to sleep with a flashlight and a baseball bat.
Oh yeah, and a ghost busters proton gun.
Yesterday I learned that another neighbor of ours (one block over) got cleaned out while away on vacation. The perps took EVERYTHING! Titles, deeds, checks and check books, credit cards, jewelry, the computer (after bringing all the phones into the computer room and doing who knows what with the victims' identities and credit before cutting the phone lines), social security cards, insurance docs, etc. You name it--if it was important it's history.
Two thoughts:
One, I am relieved I am in a little bit of disarray at my house. If I have to stay up all night looking for my 16-year-old's SS card so he can get his driver's license then it's not likely any would-be thieves would find it any more quickly.
Two: if neighborhood watch had lived on that street, it never would've happened. Apparently living next to a cop wasn't enough, but if nw would've been there, the case would've been solved before the perps had even entered the building. It's a crying shame...
duh nuh, duh nuh, duh nuh, duh nuh nuh...who ya gonna call?
Holy cow. Boy am I out of the loop, compulsive! I didn't hear anything about this. That's horrible. Yeah, NW would have been right on it. Scary. And I think you might be right in some respects...if ye are unorganized, ye shall not fear identity theives finding thy stuff.
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