Thursday, August 11, 2005

Midweek Bath

This morning (Thursday) I looked at my children. Ewww. “Alright kids, time for a bath!”

“What?!? But it’s not Sunday!” they complained. And they looked at me with the pain of injustice in their eyes.

This caused me to reflect for a moment on my domestic practices this summer, particularly the ones pertaining to my children’s hygiene. I realized that this summer I’ve bathed my children about once a week, whether they needed it or not. Of course, occasionally I took them swimming during the week. This accomplished some soaking and deep cleaning. And sometimes I told them to go play in the hose, figuring they’d wash a little of something off of them while they did. But other than these occasional water activities, this summer my children’s hygiene and my attention to cleanliness (my children’s and my house’s) has been deplorable.

I remember talking with another mom last winter and I made some comment like, “Well, if I bathe my kids every other day or maybe even skip two days, I figure that’s okay. It’s not like in the summer when they play outside and get all sweaty and dirty. You just HAVE to bathe them more in the summer.” Who was that woman? Bathe them more in the summer? That’s the great thing about summer. Who cares if your kids are grimy? So what if they look like orphans? Big deal if they stay up till 10 or 11 and don’t get up till 8 or 9. Last spring when I was thinking about the upcoming summer break, I determined I was going to be so diligent and start each day with a routine involving exercise, yard work and chores, limit television time, and have organized activities to do like this or that lesson or park time. I did pretty well with the exercise and yard work, but the rest went down the tube. At first I was worried about not having my kids on a routine, and then I decided to just forget it and go with the flow. I remember that was what I liked about summer as a kid—that you could just veg and play with friends and be a bum. I don’t even know if I owned summer clothes other than my swimsuit and I just played without being “scheduled”. I caught bugs and made mud pottery I dried in the sun. I tried (unsuccessfully) weaving a basket out of long grass weeds and played in the sprinkler. I read books. And it was that sense of no urgency and total relaxation that I remember relishing. So this summer I decided I would try to embrace this and just let my kids relax.

Now don’t get me wrong. There have been things that they have to do. I try to remember to have them make their beds in the morning. They help cook and do the dishes. They help me weed the garden and water the plants. They clean toilets and sinks and my oldest (10) mows the lawn. But I’ve been a little better at just letting them play when they have their things done rather than try to fill up their time by finding more work for them to do.

But I think I can only live with this lack of structure for a while before it starts to get to me. The kids start bickering or teasing when they get bored and I heard myself just the other day telling my youngest two (ages 4 and 2) to go beat each other up in the other room instead of where I was. They did. Boy, did they. (I decided maybe I should have said something like “you need to go work it out niiiiicely.”) I’ve about reached my limit of tolerating my messy house and kids with nothing to do. I’m looking forward to the school year and it will be nice to get back to a schedule. I think I’ll even start bathing the kids more than once a week again.

15 comments:

Lisa said...

I'm with you! I started out the summer with great plans of academic achievement and discovery, and now I'm sounding like MY mom yelling things like, "Oh, if you're BORED, I"ll give you something to do--"

wendysue said...

Madison has said "I'm soooo bored" about 1,000 times this summer! Her other favorite phrase is "let's do something really COOL!" Ok, let's see, how about clean your room and do the laundry, that's cool!!!

Lorien said...

At the beginning of the summer I put my kids on notice that "I'm bored!" meant to me "I want to do a chore!" It sort of worked... instead they said things like "There's nothing to do!" But somehow that doesn't bother me quite as badly as "I'm boooored." Me too, Lisa. I say things I swore I'd never say all the time.

Wendy, don't forget cleaning the sinks. That's cool if you use cold water.

~j. said...

Does Calvin take a bath? Or shower? At what age do kids shower rather than bathe? Just wondering...I let Rae shower once - it took her 25 minutes.

Otto said...

There's nothing like a dose of good, regimented discipline. We use a whistle in our home, and have roll call every morning, my kids names, or course, are Lisl, Freidrich, Kurt, Loisa... Oh, and they call me "Captain".

Lorien said...

After my over-achieving high school career, and facing more B's (and the occasional C) in college than I was used to up to that point, I determined to embrace mediocrity. Not in all aspects of my life, of course, but it has proved very useful in some areas. Motherhood in particular. Personal hygeine? Clean enough. Nutrition? Whatever, you're not starving or malnourished. Discipline? We'll talk when I'm not so tired.

But what if I've been too lax? Otto, do you take boarders? Maybe you could whip my kids into shape. And if you could teach them to yodel and do marionette plays, that would really be great.

Lorien said...

Jenny-yes, both of my two oldest kids shower. My daughter became a showerer last year during first grade. The transition was kind of gradual and most times I was wet up to my armpits from helping shampoo. And yes, I have to pound on the door and yell or they empty the hot water heater. But they are getting better and my oldest takes some pretty quick showers now.

Teresa-what is it with whining? I wish there was a cure for that...

Ben said...

The key to fulfillment and happiness in life is simple: lower your expectations.

dalene said...

I'll forever be thankful to my brother-in-law who taught me--while my oldest was the tender age of less than 1--that if they're not dirty they're not having fun.

Party on Francis kids!

garth bruner said...

"if they're not dirty they're not having fun."

HERE, HERE!

"The key to fulfillment and happiness in life is simple: lower your expectations."

It's not a mantra I'm committed to, but it does help me relax a bit.

I just found your fun blog! Great stories! I'll be back.

Lorien said...

Welcome Garth! Glad you stopped by. I took a peek at your blog. Congrats on your latest Olympic ring. See you around!

topher clark said...

Otto, do you remember that club I started where I wanted you to be the captain of our navy? And I wanted you to fly our flag on your house? And you dressed up in travelling costumes and hiked over the Alps? Funny times. How do you solve a problem like Otto?

Lorien, I have noticed that your children are dirty and smelly, but I still love them. I love anyone in need.

Lorien said...

Chris, you are too kind. I have always been impressed with your benevolence. You east-side people are so considerate to us underprivileged west-siders.

Bek said...

Lorien,

I only come to town 4 or 5 times a year (although, after the last flight this weekend w/ the kiddo's, I am afraid I will never visit again as it would mean having to TRAVEL WITH MY CHILDREN!!!!). I would like to meet you and your mediocre, west side, stinky, tree house pooping kids. You sound fun. ;-)

Rebecca

Lorien said...

bek,
you are welcome anytime...if you think you can survive our charming atmosphere! We get good chuckles at ourselves, anyway. Certainly holler the next time you'll be in town and we can get a crew together. That would be fun.