Thursday, October 23, 2008

Decision ’08—Gettin to Know Your Candidate


In a couple a days you get to go to the polls at Studio 5 and vote. I feel it’s important to know somethin about the people you vote for. So in the interest of a more informed public, here are my answers to some FAQs.

Q: Why did you decide to run?

A: Well really I didn’t. My darling husband got me on the ballot. I’m just an outsider but now that I’m in the race, I’ve decided it’s important to win. After all, winnin is everything and anyone who says differently obviously hasn’t ever won anything.


Q: What will be your first action if you win?

A: First I just want to say that I’m really honored to be a part of this. This has been a crazy couple a days and I’m havin so much fun. I’m lookin down the road and if I win I’m thinking a win will really shore up my economy. Me an Guy, we’re just a couple a mavericks and we’ll be goin to the Market Street Grill for dinner. And who knows, if you vote for me we might take you with us.



Q: Are you really that cute?

A: Oh come on now. That’s just crazy talkin. A picture is worth a thousand words.




Q: What does a Vice President do?

A: My experience as Senior Vice President of Provo High Class of ’90 (Go Bulldogs!) has given me the background needed to answer this question. A Vice President works with Senators makin posters announcin all the important issues, like the next big game or date dance. I’m not talkin about wishin for, or hopin for somethin to happen, I’m talkin about takin action and plannin events like prom or reunions. And also too Vice Presidents can also make a political party’s ticket more attractive.


Q: How do you think we should deal with terrorists?

A: I’m gonna have to get back to you on that one.


Q: Do you really kill animals?

A: I’m a maverick. At one point in my life I had an extensive insect collection. And once I stepped on a mouse. The poor little guy was just flippin around there on the floor. And also too I cut off the head of a frog in college physiology. But I always feel bad or at least grossed out about it. I take a pro-life approach to life.


Q: What morning shows do you watch?

A: All of them. Any of them. Anything that flips across the TV. In the morning I’m just flippin the channels and watchin anything that will help me be a better mom. You know, being a mom doesn’t mean you’re completely cut off from the rest of the world. Moms are just as American as the rest of Americans. Oh, and I’m really enjoyin Studio 5. *wink*

17 comments:

The Daredevil Mom said...

Oh please, oh please, I wish they would read part of your blog on the show.

(p.s. Thanks Guy, for giving Lorien something to finally blog about again!)

(p.p.s. My word verification was "weezed". I just thought that was funny.)

compulsive writer said...

Oh, and don't ask me how I know this, but I can already tell you that they won't let you vote twice.

David said...

Give us a call when you win, Florence & I would love to go with you to dinner! I voted for you. -David

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Monster Headphones said...

That was hilarious indeed.... keep going!
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